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Why Society Still Needs Feminism

Because to men, a key is a device to open something. For women, it’s a weapon we hold between our fingers when we’re walking alone at night.

Because the biggest insult for a guy is to be called a “pussy,” a “little bitch” or a “girl.” From here on out, being called a “pussy” is an effing badge of honor.

Because last month, my politics professor asked the class if women should have equal representation in the Supreme Court, and only three out of 42 people raised their hands.

Because rape jokes are still a thing.

Because despite being equally broke college kids, guys are still expected to pay for dates, drinks and flowers.

Because as a legit student group, Campus Fellowship does not allow women to lead anything involving men. Look, I know Eve was dumb about the whole apple and snake thing, but I think we can agree having a vagina does not directly impact your ability to lead a
college organization.

Because it’s assumed that if you are nice to a girl, she owes you sex — therefore, if she turns you down, she’s a bitch who’s put you in the “friend zone.” Sorry, bro, women are not machines you put kindness coins into until sex falls out.

Because only 29 percent of American women identify as feminist, and in the words of author Caitlin Moran, “What part of ‘liberation for women’ is not for you? Is it freedom to vote? The right not to be owned by the man you marry? The campaign for equal pay? Did all that good shit get on your nerves? Or were you just drunk at the time
of the survey?”

Because when people hear the term feminist, they honestly think of women burning bras. Dude, have you ever bought a bra? No one would burn them because they’re freaking
expensive.

Because Rush Limbaugh.

Because we now have a record number of women in the Senate … which is a measly 20 out of 100. Congrats, USA, we’ve gone up to 78th place for women’s political representation, still below China, Rwanda and Iraq.

Because recently I had a discussion with a couple of well-meaning Drake University guys, and they literally could not fathom how catcalling a woman walking down University Avenue is creepy and sexist.
Could. Not. Fathom.

Because on average, the tenured male professors at Drake make more than the tenured female professors.

Because more people on campus complain about chalked statistics regarding sexual assault than complain about the existence of sexual assault. Priorities? Have them.

Because 138 House Republicans voted against the Violence Against Women Act. All 138 felt it shouldn’t provide support for Native women, LGBT people or immigrant women. I’m kind of confused by this, because I thought LGBT people and women of color were also human beings.
Weird, right?

Because a girl was roofied last semester at a local campus bar, and I heard someone say they think she should have been more careful. Being drugged is her fault, not the fault of the person who put drugs in her drink?

Because Chris Brown beat Rihanna so badly she was hospitalized, yet he still has fans and bestselling songs and a tattoo of an abused woman on his neck.

Because out of 7 billion people on the planet, more than 1 billion women will be raped or beaten in their lifetimes. Women and girls have their clitorises cut out, acid thrown on them and broken bottles shoved up them as an act of war. Every second of every day. Every corner of the Earth.

Because the other day, another friend of mine told me she was raped, and I can no longer count on both my hands the number of friends who have told me they’ve been sexually assaulted. Words can’t express how scared I am that I’m getting used to this.

Because a brief survey of reality will tell you that we do not live in a world that values all people equally and that sucks in real, very scary ways. Because you know we live in a sexist world when an awesome thing with the name “feminism” has a weird connotation. Because if I have kids someday, I want my son to be able to have emotions and play dress up, and I want my daughter to climb trees and care more about what’s in her head than what’s on it. Because I don’t want her to carry keys between her fingers at night to
protect herself.

Because feminism is for everybody, and this is your official invitation.

Caitlin O’Donnell, Drake University. (via on-another-note)

(via sorayachemaly)

I’ve been obsessed with Macklemore this week for two reasons.  This, and his swag in the Thriftshop video.

Why I Gained Weight This Year

About 14 months ago, I was in the best shape of my life.  I was in a show about “beautiful, thin women” and doing INSANITY (i.e. working 6 times a week) to get in shape.  My body had never felt leaner, stronger, or sexier!  It was awesome.  

Today, I am 27 pounds heavier than I was then.  And this is after having lost 8 lbs. in the last 2 months.  How does this happen??

I decided to write down the reasons because maybe understand the causes will help me lose the weight! Here’s what I’ve come up with:

1. I fell in love.

2. I fell in love with a chef/foodie.

3. I learned to love food again and became a foodie.

4. I started to eat really indulgent foods like cheeseburgers, pizza, pasta, fried everything on regular basis.

5. I stopped working out.

6. I was on antibiotics for over 7 months.

7.  My weight loss period officially ended.

1+2. I fell in love with a chef/foodie.
I decided to write down the reasons because maybe understand the causes will help me lose the weight!  I crossed out the first two because that’s not fair.  The third, fourth, and fifth reasons may have been a result of 1 and 2 but it’s not fair to blame my weight gain on love.  And anyway, I plan to be in love for a very long while so it’s not like I can “fix” that.  

3+4.  I learned to love food again, became a foodie, and  started to eat really indulgent foods like cheeseburgers, pizza, pasta, fried everything on regular basis.
Three years ago, I had gastric bypass surgery and had lost over 120 lbs over the course of two years.  Three is directly related to this because I had developed a very weird relationship with food.  Having spent 4 months chewing everything I put in my mouth at least 20 times, I started to hate the feeling of food in my mouth.  I didn’t want to know about it!  I couldn’t appreciate the flavors of anything because I just wanted to get it down without having to think about it.  I was eating because I needed to eat to live.  This was a huge change for me, who grew up as a fat girl who loved, loved, LOVED any and every kind of food.  The adage “I eat to live, I don’t live to eat” describes these two very different relationships to a tee and my brain is still debating which one is better.  Or maybe not which one is better, but which one is healthier if a happy life is the goal.  Anyway, after falling in love with a crazy-amazing chef and self-proclaimed foodie, I, naturally, started to like eating again.  I loved all the exotic things we ate (snails, pheasant pâté, and duck on our first date alone!) and the meals she cooked (I’ve hated sweet potatoes my entire life… and now I eat them at LEAST twice a week) and all of the random places we went to eat around the city (the best 5 for $1 dumplings in Chinatown to I’mnottellingyouhowmuchitcost sushi at Blue Ribbon in Brooklyn).  Naturally, number 4 is tied into this too.  Along with the most exotic eateries in NYC, I can tell you the best burger, pizza and french fry places (NOT Shake Shack, Artichoke, or Pommes Frites, fyi) because I’ve been there MULTIPLE times.

7. My weight loss period officially ended.
This one is also related to my surgery because, technically, you have about 18 to 24 months to lose weight before you plateau.  Then you gain between 5-10 lbs and then, if you’re good, you stay around that weight.  A part of me has considered that my time really did end and I was not being good after it.

5. I stopped working out.
I stopped working out for a lot of reasons.  Who wants to sweat bullets, feel on the verge of tears and have Shaun T scream at your for 40 minutes+?  I’m also a full-time graduate student.  And I work part-time.  And I’m in a full-time relationship.  All excuses, I know.  

6. I was on antibiotics for over 7 months.
I’m allergic to a lot of things:  apples, carrots, avocados, hazlenuts, cats, etc.  One night, we ordered Italian from a yummy place we’d ordered from a bunch of times before.  For whatever reason, (my guess is there were carrots in the sauce), my entire body broke out into hives and rashes. Literally.  My mom cried when she saw me because it looked like someone had beat me.  The steroids I got at the emergency room weren’t working, so my family doctor gave me antibiotics.  Everything started to clear up within a week, but as soon as my month’s dosage was done, the hives came back with a vengeance.  We tried another month and the same thing happened.  The allergic reaction happened in April and I only stopped taking them in December.  I’ve done a lot of research on this topic because while I had gained about 12 lbs between October and April, I gained the other 23 after taking the antibiotics.  Apparently, antibiotics kill all of the bacteria in your stomach, the good and the bad.  We actually need the good ones to help us process foods.  Having been on antibiotics for so long, my body had no good bacteria (or bad, finally)!  I’ve started taking probiotics to get back to a healthy tummy place and am using Kim Snyder’s Beauty Detox Solution to bring more alkalinity to my stomach.

You might be wondering why I wrote this whole blog without any tangible goals or without a plan of action.  Well this year, I didn’t make any New Year’s Resolutions because I’m happy.  I’m really, really f*cking happy.  I’ve just finally decided it’s time to start living more healthily. I think acknowledging what has been happening is key to getting there!  Stay tuned for more updates and thoughts on my journey :)

-a

For my actors:

“Everybody is trying to find the next “it.”  You all in the room are “it.”  You are.  Don’t let anybody tell you you don’t have “it;” I don’t even know what that is.  ”It” is an essence that every human being has.  Just because Hollywood likes to call it “It Factor,” “Star Quality;”  You all have your own firmament, you are your own firmament! You are your own constellation!  You are!  That’s just the birthright of being human!”

Sometimes you just forget.  Thanks @mickeyleenelson for the reminder. Left: Fall 2008, Right: Spring 2012
#weightloss

Sometimes you just forget. Thanks @mickeyleenelson for the reminder. Left: Fall 2008, Right: Spring 2012
#weightloss

I actually really like Kristen Stewart.  I think this is a really great video of her and I’m curious to see where her career goes!

I think relationships are weird if they’re not, like, the One… and I know it’s all for a reason and you learn and grow (as I so obviously did) but it’s weird to see someone you used to be naked with all the time and not even say hello.

Girls: A Girls Writer's Ironic Racism And Other 'White People Problems'(via @Gawker)

rebecarad:

This week, on the internet, we are talking about 25-year-old prodigy Lena Dunham’s new HBO show Girls and race. (Girls and gender was last week’s topic.

Why Society Still Needs Feminism

Because to men, a key is a device to open something. For women, it’s a weapon we hold between our fingers when we’re walking alone at night.

Because the biggest insult for a guy is to be called a “pussy,” a “little bitch” or a “girl.” From here on out, being called a “pussy” is an effing badge of honor.

Because last month, my politics professor asked the class if women should have equal representation in the Supreme Court, and only three out of 42 people raised their hands.

Because rape jokes are still a thing.

Because despite being equally broke college kids, guys are still expected to pay for dates, drinks and flowers.

Because as a legit student group, Campus Fellowship does not allow women to lead anything involving men. Look, I know Eve was dumb about the whole apple and snake thing, but I think we can agree having a vagina does not directly impact your ability to lead a
college organization.

Because it’s assumed that if you are nice to a girl, she owes you sex — therefore, if she turns you down, she’s a bitch who’s put you in the “friend zone.” Sorry, bro, women are not machines you put kindness coins into until sex falls out.

Because only 29 percent of American women identify as feminist, and in the words of author Caitlin Moran, “What part of ‘liberation for women’ is not for you? Is it freedom to vote? The right not to be owned by the man you marry? The campaign for equal pay? Did all that good shit get on your nerves? Or were you just drunk at the time
of the survey?”

Because when people hear the term feminist, they honestly think of women burning bras. Dude, have you ever bought a bra? No one would burn them because they’re freaking
expensive.

Because Rush Limbaugh.

Because we now have a record number of women in the Senate … which is a measly 20 out of 100. Congrats, USA, we’ve gone up to 78th place for women’s political representation, still below China, Rwanda and Iraq.

Because recently I had a discussion with a couple of well-meaning Drake University guys, and they literally could not fathom how catcalling a woman walking down University Avenue is creepy and sexist.
Could. Not. Fathom.

Because on average, the tenured male professors at Drake make more than the tenured female professors.

Because more people on campus complain about chalked statistics regarding sexual assault than complain about the existence of sexual assault. Priorities? Have them.

Because 138 House Republicans voted against the Violence Against Women Act. All 138 felt it shouldn’t provide support for Native women, LGBT people or immigrant women. I’m kind of confused by this, because I thought LGBT people and women of color were also human beings.
Weird, right?

Because a girl was roofied last semester at a local campus bar, and I heard someone say they think she should have been more careful. Being drugged is her fault, not the fault of the person who put drugs in her drink?

Because Chris Brown beat Rihanna so badly she was hospitalized, yet he still has fans and bestselling songs and a tattoo of an abused woman on his neck.

Because out of 7 billion people on the planet, more than 1 billion women will be raped or beaten in their lifetimes. Women and girls have their clitorises cut out, acid thrown on them and broken bottles shoved up them as an act of war. Every second of every day. Every corner of the Earth.

Because the other day, another friend of mine told me she was raped, and I can no longer count on both my hands the number of friends who have told me they’ve been sexually assaulted. Words can’t express how scared I am that I’m getting used to this.

Because a brief survey of reality will tell you that we do not live in a world that values all people equally and that sucks in real, very scary ways. Because you know we live in a sexist world when an awesome thing with the name “feminism” has a weird connotation. Because if I have kids someday, I want my son to be able to have emotions and play dress up, and I want my daughter to climb trees and care more about what’s in her head than what’s on it. Because I don’t want her to carry keys between her fingers at night to
protect herself.

Because feminism is for everybody, and this is your official invitation.

Caitlin O’Donnell, Drake University. (via on-another-note)

(via sorayachemaly)

I’ve been obsessed with Macklemore this week for two reasons.  This, and his swag in the Thriftshop video.

Why I Gained Weight This Year

About 14 months ago, I was in the best shape of my life.  I was in a show about “beautiful, thin women” and doing INSANITY (i.e. working 6 times a week) to get in shape.  My body had never felt leaner, stronger, or sexier!  It was awesome.  

Today, I am 27 pounds heavier than I was then.  And this is after having lost 8 lbs. in the last 2 months.  How does this happen??

I decided to write down the reasons because maybe understand the causes will help me lose the weight! Here’s what I’ve come up with:

1. I fell in love.

2. I fell in love with a chef/foodie.

3. I learned to love food again and became a foodie.

4. I started to eat really indulgent foods like cheeseburgers, pizza, pasta, fried everything on regular basis.

5. I stopped working out.

6. I was on antibiotics for over 7 months.

7.  My weight loss period officially ended.

1+2. I fell in love with a chef/foodie.
I decided to write down the reasons because maybe understand the causes will help me lose the weight!  I crossed out the first two because that’s not fair.  The third, fourth, and fifth reasons may have been a result of 1 and 2 but it’s not fair to blame my weight gain on love.  And anyway, I plan to be in love for a very long while so it’s not like I can “fix” that.  

3+4.  I learned to love food again, became a foodie, and  started to eat really indulgent foods like cheeseburgers, pizza, pasta, fried everything on regular basis.
Three years ago, I had gastric bypass surgery and had lost over 120 lbs over the course of two years.  Three is directly related to this because I had developed a very weird relationship with food.  Having spent 4 months chewing everything I put in my mouth at least 20 times, I started to hate the feeling of food in my mouth.  I didn’t want to know about it!  I couldn’t appreciate the flavors of anything because I just wanted to get it down without having to think about it.  I was eating because I needed to eat to live.  This was a huge change for me, who grew up as a fat girl who loved, loved, LOVED any and every kind of food.  The adage “I eat to live, I don’t live to eat” describes these two very different relationships to a tee and my brain is still debating which one is better.  Or maybe not which one is better, but which one is healthier if a happy life is the goal.  Anyway, after falling in love with a crazy-amazing chef and self-proclaimed foodie, I, naturally, started to like eating again.  I loved all the exotic things we ate (snails, pheasant pâté, and duck on our first date alone!) and the meals she cooked (I’ve hated sweet potatoes my entire life… and now I eat them at LEAST twice a week) and all of the random places we went to eat around the city (the best 5 for $1 dumplings in Chinatown to I’mnottellingyouhowmuchitcost sushi at Blue Ribbon in Brooklyn).  Naturally, number 4 is tied into this too.  Along with the most exotic eateries in NYC, I can tell you the best burger, pizza and french fry places (NOT Shake Shack, Artichoke, or Pommes Frites, fyi) because I’ve been there MULTIPLE times.

7. My weight loss period officially ended.
This one is also related to my surgery because, technically, you have about 18 to 24 months to lose weight before you plateau.  Then you gain between 5-10 lbs and then, if you’re good, you stay around that weight.  A part of me has considered that my time really did end and I was not being good after it.

5. I stopped working out.
I stopped working out for a lot of reasons.  Who wants to sweat bullets, feel on the verge of tears and have Shaun T scream at your for 40 minutes+?  I’m also a full-time graduate student.  And I work part-time.  And I’m in a full-time relationship.  All excuses, I know.  

6. I was on antibiotics for over 7 months.
I’m allergic to a lot of things:  apples, carrots, avocados, hazlenuts, cats, etc.  One night, we ordered Italian from a yummy place we’d ordered from a bunch of times before.  For whatever reason, (my guess is there were carrots in the sauce), my entire body broke out into hives and rashes. Literally.  My mom cried when she saw me because it looked like someone had beat me.  The steroids I got at the emergency room weren’t working, so my family doctor gave me antibiotics.  Everything started to clear up within a week, but as soon as my month’s dosage was done, the hives came back with a vengeance.  We tried another month and the same thing happened.  The allergic reaction happened in April and I only stopped taking them in December.  I’ve done a lot of research on this topic because while I had gained about 12 lbs between October and April, I gained the other 23 after taking the antibiotics.  Apparently, antibiotics kill all of the bacteria in your stomach, the good and the bad.  We actually need the good ones to help us process foods.  Having been on antibiotics for so long, my body had no good bacteria (or bad, finally)!  I’ve started taking probiotics to get back to a healthy tummy place and am using Kim Snyder’s Beauty Detox Solution to bring more alkalinity to my stomach.

You might be wondering why I wrote this whole blog without any tangible goals or without a plan of action.  Well this year, I didn’t make any New Year’s Resolutions because I’m happy.  I’m really, really f*cking happy.  I’ve just finally decided it’s time to start living more healthily. I think acknowledging what has been happening is key to getting there!  Stay tuned for more updates and thoughts on my journey :)

-a

For my actors:

“Everybody is trying to find the next “it.”  You all in the room are “it.”  You are.  Don’t let anybody tell you you don’t have “it;” I don’t even know what that is.  ”It” is an essence that every human being has.  Just because Hollywood likes to call it “It Factor,” “Star Quality;”  You all have your own firmament, you are your own firmament! You are your own constellation!  You are!  That’s just the birthright of being human!”

Sometimes you just forget.  Thanks @mickeyleenelson for the reminder. Left: Fall 2008, Right: Spring 2012
#weightloss

Sometimes you just forget. Thanks @mickeyleenelson for the reminder. Left: Fall 2008, Right: Spring 2012
#weightloss

I actually really like Kristen Stewart.  I think this is a really great video of her and I’m curious to see where her career goes!

I think relationships are weird if they’re not, like, the One… and I know it’s all for a reason and you learn and grow (as I so obviously did) but it’s weird to see someone you used to be naked with all the time and not even say hello.

Girls: A Girls Writer's Ironic Racism And Other 'White People Problems'(via @Gawker)

rebecarad:

This week, on the internet, we are talking about 25-year-old prodigy Lena Dunham’s new HBO show Girls and race. (Girls and gender was last week’s topic.

"

Why Society Still Needs Feminism

Because to men, a key is a device to open something. For women, it’s a weapon we hold between our fingers when we’re walking alone at night.

Because the biggest insult for a guy is to be called a “pussy,” a “little bitch” or a “girl.” From here on out, being called a “pussy” is an effing badge of honor.

Because last month, my politics professor asked the class if women should have equal representation in the Supreme Court, and only three out of 42 people raised their hands.

Because rape jokes are still a thing.

Because despite being equally broke college kids, guys are still expected to pay for dates, drinks and flowers.

Because as a legit student group, Campus Fellowship does not allow women to lead anything involving men. Look, I know Eve was dumb about the whole apple and snake thing, but I think we can agree having a vagina does not directly impact your ability to lead a
college organization.

Because it’s assumed that if you are nice to a girl, she owes you sex — therefore, if she turns you down, she’s a bitch who’s put you in the “friend zone.” Sorry, bro, women are not machines you put kindness coins into until sex falls out.

Because only 29 percent of American women identify as feminist, and in the words of author Caitlin Moran, “What part of ‘liberation for women’ is not for you? Is it freedom to vote? The right not to be owned by the man you marry? The campaign for equal pay? Did all that good shit get on your nerves? Or were you just drunk at the time
of the survey?”

Because when people hear the term feminist, they honestly think of women burning bras. Dude, have you ever bought a bra? No one would burn them because they’re freaking
expensive.

Because Rush Limbaugh.

Because we now have a record number of women in the Senate … which is a measly 20 out of 100. Congrats, USA, we’ve gone up to 78th place for women’s political representation, still below China, Rwanda and Iraq.

Because recently I had a discussion with a couple of well-meaning Drake University guys, and they literally could not fathom how catcalling a woman walking down University Avenue is creepy and sexist.
Could. Not. Fathom.

Because on average, the tenured male professors at Drake make more than the tenured female professors.

Because more people on campus complain about chalked statistics regarding sexual assault than complain about the existence of sexual assault. Priorities? Have them.

Because 138 House Republicans voted against the Violence Against Women Act. All 138 felt it shouldn’t provide support for Native women, LGBT people or immigrant women. I’m kind of confused by this, because I thought LGBT people and women of color were also human beings.
Weird, right?

Because a girl was roofied last semester at a local campus bar, and I heard someone say they think she should have been more careful. Being drugged is her fault, not the fault of the person who put drugs in her drink?

Because Chris Brown beat Rihanna so badly she was hospitalized, yet he still has fans and bestselling songs and a tattoo of an abused woman on his neck.

Because out of 7 billion people on the planet, more than 1 billion women will be raped or beaten in their lifetimes. Women and girls have their clitorises cut out, acid thrown on them and broken bottles shoved up them as an act of war. Every second of every day. Every corner of the Earth.

Because the other day, another friend of mine told me she was raped, and I can no longer count on both my hands the number of friends who have told me they’ve been sexually assaulted. Words can’t express how scared I am that I’m getting used to this.

Because a brief survey of reality will tell you that we do not live in a world that values all people equally and that sucks in real, very scary ways. Because you know we live in a sexist world when an awesome thing with the name “feminism” has a weird connotation. Because if I have kids someday, I want my son to be able to have emotions and play dress up, and I want my daughter to climb trees and care more about what’s in her head than what’s on it. Because I don’t want her to carry keys between her fingers at night to
protect herself.

Because feminism is for everybody, and this is your official invitation.

"
catatonia
Why I Gained Weight This Year
"I think relationships are weird if they’re not, like, the One… and I know it’s all for a reason and you learn and grow (as I so obviously did) but it’s weird to see someone you used to be naked with all the time and not even say hello."

About:

I've started this blog because I've decided to be a real person.

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